Miyano
by 01200120
Summary: Ai Haibara is the last Miyano, but she soon finds it’s not that easy to escape your roots. As Shiho’s past comes back to haunt her, everything may depend on the family she never knew. But will she have the courage to pursue the truth?
1. Unravel

Ai Haibara is the last Miyano, but she soon finds it's not that easy to escape your roots. As Shiho's past comes back to haunt her, everything may depend on the family she never knew. But will she have the courage to pursue the truth?

* * *

**Miyano**  
**Chapter 1: Unravel**  
By Kaitou Magician 

Ai wished she was wearing a coat. It wasn't that she was cold; in fact, the New Years weather was unseasonably warm. Still her shoulders twitched, wishing for the reassuring motion of hunching down in the stiff fabric, desiring the protection of even a simple disguise.

Normally, the young girl would not give into to such self-indulgence, but, pressed within the crowd of well-wishers heading to the temple, Ai felt horribly exposed. It didn't help that she was also feeling dizzy and off balance.

"Ai-chan, are you alright?" Ayumi asked worriedly. The young girl took Ai's left hand as if to lend her strength. "You're not sick again are you?"

"It's nothing," Ai reassured her with a calm that belied her own unease. "I just have a headache."

"You've been getting headaches a lot recently," Kudo observed, dropping back from his position next to Mouri to give her a piercing look.

"It's nothing," Ai said firmly. If Kudo decided there was some mystery to her headaches that he needed to solve, she could kiss her privacy goodbye. "I've simply been staying up late." Implicit was 'to work on the cure, so back off'.

"Lucky," Kojima chimed in over Ai's left shoulder. "My parents make me go to bed at seven. How unfair." Kojima pouted for a moment before returning his attention to devouring the buns he had bought at a roadside stand.

"That's, that's just because Haibara-kun is so mature," Tsuburaya stammered out, blushing brightly. Only Ai clearly heard him, the chatter and shouts from the crowd threatening to drown out speech entirely.

Overhead, fireworks burst and fizzled against dark sky, and around her the crowd slow plodded towards its common destination. Ensconced within a circle of people she could tentatively call friends, Ai could almost feel safe.

Suddenly, a man shouldered his way through the group, elbowing Kojima and brushing against Ai.

_--sadness. frustration.-- _

Ai winced and stumbled sideways, right into Kudo's grip.

_How embarrassing_, Ai thought.

"Hey, watch where you're going," Kojima yelled at the man's back, rubbing his head.

"Are you okay, Ai-kun?" Professor Agasa asked worriedly, bending down to peer into her eyes.

"I'm fine," Ai replied shortly, shrugging off Kudo's steadying hands.

Ever since she could remember, she had been able to sense when They were near. It had been painful. She'd had no control as the virulent emotions overwhelmed her, paralyzing her thoughts and body more effectively than pancuronium bromide. However, that had been the extent of her abilities.

Lately, though, she could sometimes feel the emotions of the people around her. It happened at random with no warning and it was beginning to put Ai on edge. She hated feeling not in control.

"Maybe we should go to a less crowded temple, so we can get home faster," Mouri offered gently, smiling encouragingly at Ai. The younger girl was inclined to agree, just because she felt so exposed in the crowd, but something in her rebelled at the suggestion.

"I'll be fine," she insisted firmly.

It would be idiotic to leave now, her mind logically asserted. They had been slowly shuffling forward for hours. Besides, Ayumi had been so excited when she learned they were all going to go together, after believing that she would have to spend New Years alone with her parents out of the country.

Also, the suggestion came from _her_, a part of her mind whispered. Ai didn't examine the thought too closely. She was afraid to discern the emotion behind it.

After a few minutes of awkward, concerned looks, normality reasserted itself. Ai let the young children's chatter wash over her, listening with only half an ear as they complained about the winter holiday homework and wondered how much money they would receive when they got home. Kudo and Mouri also restarted their conversation about Mouri's upcoming ski retreat with Suzuki. Professor Agasa stepped in to offer his services as babysitter during her trip.

Ai took a deep breath, letting the chill fill her lungs. She had been tired lately, spending late hours in the lab and then going to school. She had hit another roadblock in the cure; it was time to take a break and rest. An overworked mind would never be able to solve APTX. Of course, _why_ it was a poison in the first place was a riddle she--

--_hope._ --

The emotion was so strong it took Ai's breath away.

--_excitement. anticipation.--_

"Haibara-kun, what's wrong?" This time it was Tsuburaya who took her hand and tugged her back to reality.

"Nothing," Ai said calmly, feeling winded and shaken. "I just…" She couldn't think of a decent lie. That was far more worrying.

"Maybe we should take you to a doctor," Kudo suggested.

"Because that worked so well with Doctor Araide," Ai snapped back in a sarcastic undertone.

"Ai-kun." The professor sounded worried.

Ai wanted to close her eyes and think--it would only take a moment--and get the situation back under some semblance of control. But closing her eyes would be taken as a sign of weakness, and Ai couldn't afford that.

Kudo was watching her. The professor was watching her. Mouri was watching her. The Detective Boys were watching her. The pressure of their gazes seemed to intensify her headache. Ai froze her facial muscles, refusing to give in to the strain and wince.

Ai quickly ran through her options in her head. Her current behavior could not be calmly excused and brushed off. There was nothing for it. She couldn't lie convincingly as she was now.

Mentally, Ai selected a mask, fit it over her features, and smiled.

"I'm fine." She even managed a cheerful tone. They were harder to convince this time, but Ai nonchalantly brushed off their queries until they gave up, all the while mentally calculating how long she could keep up the façade.

And if Kudo narrowed his eyes at her…well, he was a detective. He had to get things right some of the time.

Buoyed by sarcasm and protected by the mask--inside her mind, a part of Ai curled up and closed her eyes--Ai began to feel hope. She would make it. And if, when she got home, she slept for a few days, Kudo would be too busy spending as much time with Mouri as possible before her trip to notice.

_We're on the steps_, Ai offered up in nameless prayer; _please, just let me make it the rest of the way._

"What are you going to wish for?" Kojima excitedly asked everyone as they got closer.

"That's a secret," Ayumi replied cheerful, wagging her mitten-clad hand him.

_To not get shot or captured_, Ai thought, only half sarcastic. Yet even her morbid thoughts couldn't detract from the excitement that, despite herself, she was beginning to feel. Ai clapped her mitten-covered hands together to warm herself, feeling the anticipation rising within her. This was her first New Years with people she could consider family and friends. She didn't even try to stop the small smile that quirked up her mouth.

Ai stepped up to the bell, Kudo hovering at her side, over-protective and suspicious as usual. _I wish_, she began, reaching out to pull the bell rope.

"You really seem into it," Kudo remarked causally, hands clapping together in prayer.

Ai's hand froze, half curled around the rope, in horror.

Hope. Excitement. Anticipation.

A chill went through her. _These aren't my emotions_.

At the realization, Ai felt something break inside her. It felt like, Ai would try to describe later, thread unwinding from a spool, only it was herself that was falling apart.

She felt Kudo's worry first, since he was closest. There, standing right behind them, was Professor Agasa's concern, the Detective Boys' excitement, and Mouri's contentment. Like a ripple, her mind spread over the crowd's impatience and joy; then, she was beyond the temple's walls and sinking into a city crowded with sentiments.

She could no longer see the rope, overwhelmed by the feelings, enough emotion to drown in…

Something cool grabbed her wrist, and Ai was simply falling into an empty darkness.


	2. Bind, mix one

**Miyano**  
**Chapter 2: Bind (mix one)**  
By Kaitou Magician 

The organization had no name.

Names gave things shape, boundaries. Names _defined_ things, and They were more than happy to be left as an amorphous shadow, untraceable and untouchable.

For the syndicate was not simply a collection of petty thieves, sulking in back alleys. Their goals were far grander, and their reach spanned all sectors of society. They dealt not only in guns and blood, but in stocks and technology and science—especially in science. The organization funded and ran laboratories throughout the world, fronts to hide cells of scientists working on more illicit experiments.

The syndicate carefully chose its scientists. Possible targets were tagged for observation when they were young, most of them barely into college when they caught the organization's eye. The organization wanted only the brightest students with intelligence and potential, but They were also careful not to chose those whose absence from the scientific community would be missed.

So They watched and waited, and when the syndicate found a target to Their liking, They then searched for the scientist's Archimedes' lever: that precise piece of information that would move the target right into Their hands.

The most common lever was blackmail, threatening retribution against family members unless the scientists cooperated. Men and women who would have readily died before performing the experiments they were forced to commit became compliant when the life hanging in the balance was not their own, but their child's or loved one's.

The scientists in Cell Six were a mixed bunch. Some of them were there because they wanted to be, because their passion for science had led them outside the realm of ethics and acceptability. Most of them were there because of such coercion.

When Bolero, her caretaker, pulled Shiho into Cell Six's laboratory for the first time, everyone stilled at their entrance, hands frozen over their current task as if the smallest movement could trigger an explosion. The lab was full of soft whirling noises and staccato beeps, and was blindingly bright compared to Bolero's dingy apartment, but it also felt sterile and oppressive. Before Shiho had time to examine this new world of strange equipment half-hidden on tall countertops, Bolero dragged her further into the room.

"Doctor Liu?" Bolero asked, though it came out more like a command. The frowning woman flipped her long, red hair over her shoulder in an impatient motion.

"Here," Dr Liu replied in a soft-spoken voice. Carefully and precisely, he stripped off the Latex gloves he was wearing and walked over to speak to them. A Chinese expatriate, Dr Liu was a small, neat man with wire-rim glasses, gray-peppered hair, and, Shiho soon would learn, a perchance for starched collar shirts under his lab coat.

Dr Liu stood calm and obedient as Bolero introduced her, though Shiho didn't bother to listen. In the small girl's opinion, the transfer of guardianship made no difference. Experience had taught her that this new place and living with Bolero (or any of the other members of the organization she had been forced to stay with over the years) were bound to be the same.

Shiho stared off into the middle distance, absently looking at the capillary sequencer on the far counter, pretending she didn't realize that everyone was staring at her and that none of the scientists had made a move back to the experiments they had abandoned upon her and Bolero's arrival.

But while the tension in the air may have been almost palpable, it was nothing compared to the sheer agony of being around so many members of the organization. The miasma which seemed to cling to everyone whose life touched the syndicate bore down on Shiho, slipping under her skin to press against her frail bones. Every second she spent here (spent anywhere really, because she was always with Them) felt like a hand pushing against her diaphragm, making her lungs struggle to expand and her heart beat erratically.

Every moment of her life was torture.

Bolero left without a backwards glace, but Shiho hardly noticed. Her guardian had never been much of a presence in her life. With Bolero's exit, though, Shiho could no longer pretend to ignore the staring. Defiantly, Shiho stared back, not letting any expression cross her face. Her view, however, was obscured when Dr Liu crouched down to her level and smiled.

This did nothing to reassure Shiho. In her experience, the adults that smiled were the worst. She expected some worthless platitude, like 'you're not alone anymore' (which was a lie, because she was always alone, every minute she spent away from Akemi) or 'don't be afraid' (which was impossible when terror choked her like poison whenever she was around Them).

Instead, he gently said, "My name is Doctor Xiaoyang Liu. I am the head of Cell Six." There was a pause, clearly intended so that Shiho could reciprocate the introduction, but the young blonde remained silent. Dr Liu had already been given a file with all of her personal data. There was no need to force herself to speak.

Dr Liu was the first to break their staring contest, taking off his glasses to wipe them clean with a handkerchief. Shiho inhaled deeply through her nose, glad that it was slowly becoming easier to breathe. None of these people felt as…bad as Bolero (Shiho had no idea how to explain the sensations she felt around members of the organization, and since every time she _tried_, her caretaker ended up giving her strange looks, Shiho had given up long ago), but there were far more of them in the lab than she was used to dealing with.

"Child," a woman with mousy brown hair and angry green eyes spoke up from behind Dr Liu. The way she lengthened the 'l' and snapped the 'd' made the word sound unfamiliar. "When Doctor Liu asks you a question, you will answer it."

"Adele," Dr Liu's voice was a mild reproach. "She is just a child."

But that flared Shiho's temper--because she might be ten, but she was _not_ some stupid child--forcing the young girl to bite out, "It's pointless." The two adults turned back to her, confused. "Talking," Shiho clarified. "You already have my file."

"Ahh," Dr Liu considered this, "I guess you have been through this many times before." Shiho really wished he'd stop smiling.

"The file," Adele snapped coldly, "said that you were a silent, sullen child, and that-" The rest of her remark was cut off by Dr Liu, who laid a restraining hand on her arm. With his other hand, the scientist withdrew his wallet. Flipping it open, he held out to Shiho a picture of a smiling Chinese woman swinging a small girl in pigtails onto her lap.

"My wife Meigui and my daughter Jun," he explained. "Jun will be turning six in three weeks."

_Akemi is in my file_, Shiho realized, with a flash of fear for her sister's safety. Shiho looked up into Dr Liu's eyes, expecting to see that look of cold, smug superiority all of her other guardians had worn, but all she could find was understanding and sympathy. Disconcerted, Shiho looked down again at the tiny photograph, and realized that Dr Liu was here for the same reason she was.

It was a shock. Shiho didn't know what to think.

Hesitantly, Shiho reached out and closed his wallet. Looking Dr Liu in the eyes, Shiho considered for the first time that maybe his kindness was real.

"I'm Shiho," the young girl announced, abrupt and aloof. "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to me you," Dr Liu echoed far more gently, "and welcome to Cell Six."

This was not her room.

As always, the transition from sleep to reality was instantaneous for Ai, snapping her awake in the space of a breath. Her body immediately realized that this_ was not her bed_, sending Ai instinctively into a state of panic.

_They've found me_, Ai thought wildly, breath hitching in her chest, but before fear could betray her further, logic ruthlessly reasserted control, clamping down on her fluttering emotions and pushing them away.

_Think logically_, Ai mentally scolded herself. _The first step to solving any problem is observation._

The mattress, which had sent her into such a panic in the first place, was much firmer than her Western bed at Professor Agasa's house and most likely a futon.

Ai breathed in and out, slow and deep, trying to fake her sleeping patterns. She smelled wood and incense, but that wasn't very helpful. A better bit of news was when Ai pretended to shift in her sleep, testing for any restrictions, she found she was free to move, neither her arms nor her legs had been bound. Feigning settling back down, Ai strained to hear the faint sound of breathing or the slight scratch of shifting fabric that would betray the presence of another person, but there was nothing.

After several minutes, Ai risked opening her eyes (as Kudo pointed out, she had never been good at faking sleep anyway) to find herself in a traditional Japanese room with tatami mat floors and a beautiful wall scroll of a crane under a waterfall on the wooden wall in front of her.

It was ridiculous now to even think that They had captured her. They most certainly would not have left her unbound and unsupervised. Besides, They would have had to snatch her in front of hundreds of temple visitors and—

Ah, the temple. That would explain the room.

Shiho winced and closed her eyes again, mentally berating herself. Obviously, this was the temple. The fact that it had taken her so long to figure it out…

The dream had rattled her, far more that Ai liked to admit. It had been so long since she'd dreamed of Cell Six, of Dr Liu and Adele Bertrand, of Boston and—

_No_, Ai though, wrenching her mind away. _Don't think about them. _

Ai sat up, pushing away the heavy coverlet to find herself still dressed in her kimono. The young girl grimaced at the wrinkles in the fabric. It would be a hassle to smooth them out.

Ai could convincingly lie to herself (it had been necessary for years), but even she couldn't persuade herself that the state of her kimono was important at the moment. The dream tugged at her conscious, dredging up the shadows of other memories Ai would rather let lie, and such a weak diversionary tactic was not going to work.

Ai simply tried not to think about it. Some things, it seemed, she was still running away from.

_I don't have time for this_, Ai thought firmly. _There are more important things to be done._

At the top of her list currently was leaving the as soon as possible.

Collapsing had thrown Ai off balance more than she liked. She didn't understand what had happened, and she hated it. As soon as she got back to the lab, she would run some tests (though _what_ scientific tests would be helpful in diagnosing how she was able to feel other people's emotions, Ai hadn't quite figured out yet). Add to that the unsettling nature of her dream, and Ai did _not_ want to deal with anyone at the moment.

But if she was here, Professor Asaga had probably stayed as well, and Ai was willing to bet Kudo had hung around just to spite her. The boy had absolutely no concept of 'personal' and an unhealthy curiosity she was sure her collapse had sparked.

Ai stood, already forming a plan to find Professor Asaga and get an explanation for their overnight stay here, preferably while on the way to the door. The first step, of course, was getting out of this room. There were identical rice paper doors on both sides of the room and no way to tell where they would lead; Ai arbitrarily chose the left one and marched towards it.

She slid open the wooden frame to find a small courtyard filled with a picturesque rock garden and surrounded by a raised wooden platform. Ai did not like to think she could be moved by such things, but, even so, she found herself lingering in the doorway, appreciating the beauty of the patterned swirls in the sand.

Ai's right hand was still resting on the doorframe, and after a few seconds, gravity managed to tug her kimono sleeve down to reveal a wooden bead bracelet wrapped around her wrist that had not been there the night before. Puzzled and surprised that she hadn't noticed it before, Ai pulled her wrist closer to her face to examine the new jewelry.

The bracelet was a strand of wooden beads, so tightly packed together Ai could not see the connecting material beneath them and so expertly made Ai could not tell where it began or ended. Under closer scrutiny, she realized that each bead was carved with an archaic kanji that Ai could not translate. She moved to take the bracelet off to inspect it further.

"You shouldn't do that," a voice mildly interrupted. Ai spun to find a young monk, bald but probably in his twenties, come out of a set of rice paper door on her left.

"Why not?" Ai asked, scientific curiosity peaked.

"That bracelet is blocking your ability to feel other people's emotions. If you take it off, you'll be overwhelmed by them again."

Ai froze in surprise. "How do you know about that?" she asked, slightly alarmed. She didn't like it when others knew more than her. It made her feel trapped.

Oblivious to her slight distress, the young monk crossed the distance between them and squatted down next to Ai. "Because I went through the same thing. I know exactly how it feels, how you feel. When I came to this temple a few years ago, I was frightened and alone, but, even though there was no one else like me here, Master Fusano and other monks were able to help me learn how to accept my ability and control it," he said, pausing to rest a hand on Ai's shoulder. Ai barely stopped herself from reflexively shrugging it off. "I'm here to help you, Haibara-san, just like the monks here helped me. Once you learn how to control your powers, you'll see that your ability is actually a wonderful gift."

"How do you know my name?" Ai questioned. The monk looked startled at her tone.

"We talked to Professor Agasa last night," he explained. "We had to convince him not to take you to a hospital. He was very supportive when we told him about your ability," the monk added encouragingly when Ai's eyes widened in shock. "He said that he'd do whatever it took so that you could learn to control it. It's wonderful that you have such an understanding guardian."

"Yes," Ai agreed distractedly, looking off to one side. It was nice, Ai supposed dubiously, that Professor Agasa didn't care about this "ability," but Ai wasn't sure--

"Ah!" the monk exclaimed, jerking Ai's attention back. "I just realized that I haven't told you my name yet." He gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm Tochi. Pleased to meet you. I hope we'll become friends." He bowed.

"Tochi?" Ai repeated. "Is that the name you took when you entered the temple?"

"Yes," Tochi said, looking surprised. "How did you know that?"

_Dammit, _Ai thought, _Kudo's rubbing off on me. I'm starting to make _deductions.

"You have an accent," Ai said, slightly embarrassed for bringing it up, "and your skin is tanned, but it's obvious that you're not Japanese."

"Impressive," Tochi complimented. "You're very observant for an eight year old." He laughed. "A Sherlock Holmes in the making."

_Oh, God_, Ai thought despairingly.

"But to answer your question," Tochi continued. "Yes, it is. I went to a temple in America a few years ago to learn some meditation techniques, hoping they would help me control my power. When the head adept learned about my ability, he contacted Master Fusano, who offered me a place here." Tochi's expression was far away. "It really was a lucky chance," he said softly.

"You called it an 'ability' and a 'power,' but does it have a name? And how is it possible to be able to sense other people's feelings?" Ai asked, thousands of questions piling up in her mind.

"Well, there is actually a lot that we don't know, but the best person to explain everything would be Master Fusano," Tochi replied. "Why don't you go back into your room? I'll go tell Master Fusano and Professor Agasa that you're awake, and get some breakfast sent to you. Then, after we all talk, you can rejoin your friends and go home and think about everything."

"Friends?" The disbelieving word slipped out before Ai could stop them.

"Yes," Tochi looked perplexed, as if he couldn't quite understand where this conversation was heading, "a young, high school age woman and four children."

_They all stayed? _Ai thought, off-balance once again. She had been _joking_ when she thought about Kudo staying, and for all of them to…

"Oh," Ai managed, turning around before the monk could see the surprise on her face. "Thank you…for warning me not to take the bracelet off." Ai hovered in the doorway, wanting the conversation to end.

"It's no problem." If Tochi was disturbed by her rudeness, it did not show in his voice. "I'll go tell Master Fusano right away." He hesitated for a moment before closing the distance between them and lightly touching her head.

"Haibara-san," he said seriously. "This is probably very overwhelming and scary for you, but that's why I'm here to help. I've gone through the same things you're going through now, and its better if you don't keep everything bottled up inside. Always remember that you can talk to me, okay?" With a light pat on the head, he started to move away.

Ai stood in the doorway, hands curling into fists, hating herself for her instinctive standoffishness.

"Wait." She turned around, and Tochi paused in the doorway he had come out of. "T, thank you." Ai stumbled over the words, but she managed to get them out.

Tochi smiled softly at her. "It's no problem," he gently assured her.

And then he was gone. Ai let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and went back into the room she had woken up in to wait.


	3. Bind, mix two

**Author Notes:**  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed and encouraged me. This chapter was rather difficult because I wanted to give a lot of exposition without making it mind-numbingly boring. I hope I succeeded at least a little bit.

Fanfictiondotnet does strange things to my files, and I've found places were random words are missing, even though they're in the original file. I've tried to fix all of the problems, butif you see anything wrong, please point it out to me.

ALSO, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to beta-read chapters for me, as that might make me write faster and would certainly improve the quality of the story. Thanks!

**CHAPTER NOTES:**  
- Numabuchi was the escaped criminal who was originally slated to be a test subject for APTX-4869.  
- 'the ability to bend the laws of probability' is what KID does in this story  
- 'the ability to summon demons' is based off of Akako, who in one chapter of the KID manga starts to summon a demon  
- 'Inventor' and 'Discoverer' are both three kanji words that share the same first and last kanji  
- Ai received tapes from her mother in volume 42. Conan listens to the first few, realizes that they're birthday messages, and gives them to Ai without listening to them all. Ai listens to the tapes, and when she gets to the 18th one, her expression changes…  
- on New Years, it is customary to send postcards to friends and family. If you live close by, it is also acceptable to hand deliver them (which Conan does do in a chapter in the manga).

* * *

**Miyano**  
**Chapter Three: Bind (mix two)**by Kaitou Magician

So, her ability to sense other people's emotions was not a fluke, but a strange, emerging "power."

Ai's face, as she closed the rice paper door, was emotionless, but her mind buzzed with thoughts and questions.

Truthfully, she didn't know what to think. It wasn't that it was unscientific. After all, project 4869's roots had been similarly fantastic, the stuff of science fiction more than science. But even then there had been data. Vermouth's and the other upper echelons' unaging appearance had been carefully documented and observed. And while the source of project 4815 was gone, they still had the trace amounts to work with. That, ultimately, was how project 4869 came about.

_There's always data_, Ai reminded herself bitterly. _It's just that this time you're the test specimen rather then scientist standing behind the one-way glass. _

Moreover, Ai was no stranger to unexplainable abilities. She had, after all, spent most of her childhood flinching away from the poisonous feelings members of the organization gave off. The miniature scientist frowned in remembrance. Despite Tochi's claims of this 'power' being a gift, Ai wasn't so sure.

Her ability to sense members of the organization had always been a strange but useful talent, once she got past the pain. When she realized that she could not sense Numabuchi, she had immediately panicked. But, after Tsuburaya was safely recovered and the desperate forest search was over, Ai had reconsidered her fear.

Even though the loss should have increased her paranoia--since now she had no way of telling when one the Them was near--Ai found herself, strangely enough, relaxing a bit. And while seeing Vermouth again had been one of the most terrifying experiences in her life, at least she had been able to _think _in the other woman's presence, something her ability had always prevented her from being able to do before.

Still, if it had just been her ability to sense Them that had returned, Ai would have accepted it. To feel _everyone_, though, was a horrible thought. Ai didn't want to deal with the emotions of others. She didn't even want to deal with her own.

Projecting an appearance of utter calm, Ai folded the futon and blankets, trying to fill up the wait. As soon as she had finished, the rice paper doors on the right were flung open and Professor Agasa rushed in.

"Ai-kun," he cried, kneeling at her side, hands fluttering in the air. "Are you alright?"

Ai blinked, surprised at the force of the professor's anxiety. "I'm fine," she answered. The professor sighed in relief, but his anxiety did not abate.

"You have no idea how frightening it was when you collapsed like that. Why didn't you tell me what was going on? You shouldn't try to deal with these things on your own, Ai-kun. I could have helped you, well, I guess, I'm not sure _how_ I could have helped you, but I would have tried," he babbled.

Ai ducked her head, feeling contrite. In truth, she hadn't even thought of telling anyone else what was happening. "I'm sorry for making you worry, Professor," she murmured.

Professor Agasa sighed again. "It's not that, Ai-kun," he explained, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm just relieved that you're all right."

"And lucky," a new voice added.

Ai turned to the doorway to find another monk entering the room. He was far older than Tochi, with a weathered face lined with wrinkles, and much larger, his broad shoulders and barrel chest filling up the doorway. "I am Gouki Fusano, the abbot of Chokoku Temple. I am pleased to make your acquaintance," he greeted in a deep voice.

"Pleased to meet you," Ai echoed. "Why am I lucky?"

"You almost lost your mind last night," Abbot Fusano informed her seriously. "It was lucky that Tochi was able to sense what was happening and we were able to stop your reaction. Otherwise…well, you might not have ever woken up again."

"Then, this power is dangerous?" Ai asked; mind already jumping ahead, forming and discarding implications and consequences.

The abbot nodded. "Without training, it could be disastrous. Luckily, your ability is just awakening and should still be quite weak. Tochi guessed that you only started to sense others about two weeks ago."

"Two weeks ago on Tuesday," Ai confirmed. "We were leaving the grocery store when it flared up for the first time."

"I remember that," Professor Agasa interrupted. "You froze on the sidewalk and wouldn't respond to either Ku--Conan-kun or myself." He gave the young girl a disapproving look. "You told us you were just working through a, err, thought." The lilliputian scientist had told Professor Agasa and Kudo that she had been struck by an inspiration about APTX-4869 and hadn't wanted to lose her train of thought. Unable to stand the professor's now hurt gaze, Ai looked away.

"Well," Abbot Fusano said, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "how often have you felt others' emotions?"

Ai shrugged. "Just a few times," she said. "Sometimes, when someone would touch me or feel something very strongly, I'd be able to sense what they were feeling for a moment. But it was never anything like last night." Ai's mind shuddered away from the thought. Last night was not something she wanted to experience ever again.

"That's good news," the abbot assured her, "because that probably means that last night was a fluke. You'll soon learn that outside influences can affect your ability. You could have been reacting to the natural power of the temple or the crowd's strong emotions." He smiled. "Though, you can count yourself lucky that you don't have to worry about astrology or the balance of the five elements."

Professor Asaga started. "Then?"

Abbot Fusano nodded indulgently. "Who do you think created the bracelet that is currently blocking Haibara's powers?" he asked rhetorically. "Magic, abilities, powers are all just words created over the years to define things that cannot be explained, things that most people cannot comprehend. They are imprecise and often overlap. I have seen all kinds of 'magic' or 'spiritual powers' in my life: the ability to bend the laws of probability, the ability to summon demons, the ability to copy others' abilities." The abbot smiled gently. "And that is the real reason you're lucky. Chokoku is probably the only temple in Tokyo that would be able to help you learn how to control your ability, because we have another spontaneous case of what seems to be the same power."

"Tochi?" Ai guessed.

Abbot Fusano nodded. "He has already volunteered to help you master your ability."

"What do you mean by 'spontaneous case'?" Ai questioned.

"Most of what we call 'spiritual powers' or 'mental abilities' are hereditary. If you traced the lineage of someone with such abilities, you would usually find similar cases throughout their family tree. Spontaneous cases are what we label people who develop powers without such an ancestry. They are very rare. You and Tochi are the only two I have ever met. It is a very fortunate coincidence that Tochi is here to help you."

"Who helped Tochi then?" Ai queried.

"No one," Abbot Fusano replied sadly. "By the time Tochi wound up here, his power had taken a terrible toll on him. It was only through dedicated meditation that he was able to bring it under control. Afterwards, he decided to stay at the temple and take vows."

"You said that most of the time these abilities are passed down through families. Then, shouldn't there be families with this ability that would already know everything about it and easily be able to teach how to control it?" Ai asked.

"Unfortunately, it is not so simple," Abbot Fusano said. "Most of the time, families with such abilities are shrine families—families that have tended a shrine for many generations. That is why many such abilities have been labeled 'spiritual powers'. However, in this day and age, such things are not openly discussed, and while I have heard rumors of two families with the ability to read others' emotions, I am afraid that knowledge will not help us much. One of the families was wiped out in a horrible fire sixteen years ago."

"And the other one?" Ai pressed, curious.

The abbot sighed. "That would be the Kyogyuu family. Tochi visited their shrine in Hokkaido this summer and was turned away. Apparently, they are very secretive about their ability and will not teach their techniques to outsiders."

"That's awful," Professor Agasa protested.

"It is not as bad as it could be," Abbot Fusano reasoned. "Tochi has learned how to control the ability on his own and is confident that he can teach you to do the same."

"So," Ai began, still synthesizing everything she had been told, "what you're telling me is that you don't have _any_ information about this ability?"

"We do know a little bit," Abbot Fusano corrected. "Do you remember the first family I mentioned? The one horribly killed in a fire? I was visiting a nearby temple when the tragedy occurred. It was absolutely terrible. The fire spread so quickly no one was able to escape." The abbot shook his head in remembrance. "Afterwards, what survived the fire--which wasn't much--was donated to the surrounding temples. The abbot at the temple I was visiting was an old friend of mine. He gave me a recovered scroll of poetry that had been penned by a member of the family centuries ago. It was in between two poems that I found something interesting."

"What--" Ai stopped herself. There was no point in asking. It wouldn't change anything. She didn't want it to change anything.

"What is it?" Abbot Fusano asked when the silence had stretched too long. At her side, Professor Agasa was giving her a worried look as well.

"What did it say?" Ai finished, not voicing her original question.

The abbot reached into his robes and pulled out a slim roll of parchment. Even though it had been meticulously maintained, it was obvious the scroll was old. The edges of the paper were beginning to curl, and the scroll crackled bitterly when Abbot Fusano gently unrolled it. Both Ai and the professor leaned closer to look at the scroll as the abbot spread it across the tatami mat floor, but the script was in old calligraphy, and Ai could not read it upside down.

"It is a family tree," Abbot Fusano explained. "Paper was scarce in those days and easily damaged. Most likely, something happened to the original family tree, and it had to be transcribed quickly. It lists each family member's name, date of birth, and date of death, if applicable. When I first read the scroll, I noticed something interesting. After many of the early entries, it says 'can read the hearts of others.' In the later entries, this seems to have been shortened to one word: reverberations."

"Reverberations," Ai echoed. "Then, that's the name for this ability?"

The abbot nodded. "It is what we are calling it."

"What is this part?" Professor Agasa asked, pointing to a specific name. "It looks like the kanji for inventor."

"Ah, that says 'discoverer of the infinity of life.' It is a meditation pose," the abbot explained, and Ai forced her unease away. "Tochi has found it the most helpful in learning to control his ability."

"He created the meditation technique?" Professor Agasa questioned.

"Oh, no," Abbot Fusano hastened to assure him, "that technique has been practiced since Shintoism came to Japan. I suppose he was the one to discover how effective the technique was in helping them control their power."

Ai sat back when it became clear that was all the abbot knew about the reverberation ability. There was so little real information, yet, at the same time, almost too many implications for her muddled mind to compute. Ai knew she was beginning to tire again, vestiges of weariness from her earlier collapse creeping back over her. And, in the back of her mind, there was a niggling voice wondering about her mother's tapes…

"Is this all overwhelming for you?" Abbot Fusano asked sympathetically.

"It's just a lot to consider," Ai softly replied.

At that precise moment, the doors to the room slid open again and Tochi came in, bearing a tray of food.

"It's just rice and tea," he apologized, setting the tray down in front of Ai. "I'm afraid that's all the temple has."

"It's fine," Ai assured him, picking up the chopsticks. The abbot noticed her hesitance to eat.

"Go ahead," he urged. "Last night drained you physically as well as mentally. You must eat to build up your strength again." Ai ducked her head, still feeling rude, and took a few self-conscious bites as everyone watched her. "I just finished telling them all we know about the reverberation ability," Abbot Fusano told Tochi.

"It's frustrating, isn't it, knowing so little?" Tochi commiserated. "But I'm confident we'll be able to get your power under control anyway, so you shouldn't worry about it too much."

Ai stopped eating, slowly setting her chopsticks down. There was still one point she wanted to be clear on. "You said that the bracelet is blocking my ability, right?" Ai asked, fiddling with the bracelet and not meeting their eyes.

"Yes," Abbot Fusano confirmed.

"The…spell on the bracelet," Ai called it, for lack of a better term. "How long will it last?"

"Until you take it off," Abbot Fusano answered. "The bracelet acts as anchor for the spell, and as long as it stays whole and on your wrist, the shielding spell cannot be broken."

"I see," Ai said noncommittally.

"Well," Tochi interjected, "last night, we devised a schedule for you. It is vitally important that you learn to control your ability now before your power grows stronger and is harder to control. Excluding last night, have you been experiencing a gradual increase in your ability to read others' emotions since your power was awakened?" Ai nodded, and Tochi looked pleased. "That's actually good news, because it indicates that your ability is still somewhat latent and you have the potential of becoming very powerful. From what I have been able to gather from my experience as well as from the experience of others with different special abilities, powers such as ours stay dormant until there is a catalyst which awakens them, at which point the ability slowly begins to grow in strength."

Ai thought that made sense. Her ability to sense Them had probably been triggered by her involvement in the organization. Knowing when members of the syndicate were around and how dark their souls were had been an extremely helpful survival technique. And, if Ai remembered correctly, her power had increased as she aged, especially after she joined Cell Six and became more active in the organization's activities.

'_Active in the organization's activities', _Ai thought bitterly. _There's a clever euphemism._

Still, it did make sense. And it also explained why her ability to sense them had faded in the past few months. As in a scientific experiment, once the catalyst is removed, the reaction will eventually fade.

"Still," Tochi continued, "it's imperative that last night's disaster never happens again. We've talked with Professor Agasa, and we've decided that's probably best for you to come in for a few hours after school two or three days a week. In between sessions, Master Fusano will give you another bracelet so that you aren't overwhelmed before you gain control of your power. What do you think?" he finished, smiling at her.

Everyone was so hopeful, but…Ai wasn't interested in having strange powers, and she definitely didn't want to do _anything_ related to those two families, because--

_No_, Ai thought. _Don't think about it. Don't even consider it._

But she would have to, if she started these lessons.

_You already have far too much going on_, she rationalized. _Between trying to hide from Them and creating the antidote, you barely have enough time to sleep as it is. You do _not_ need to add magical training to the mix_.

"Ai-kun?" Professor Agasa asked, startling Ai out of her reverie.

"Thank you," she said slowly, carefully picking her words, "for your help and your willingness to teach me, but I would rather not."

"Ai-kun--"

"Young lady," Abbot Fusano rumbled, "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."

"I do," Ai replied quickly, not caring for the moment if she sounded like a child or not. "I'll never take the bracelet off, so there's no need, and…" _I don't want mother's tapes to be true._

"Professor Agasa," Tochi appealed, turning towards her guardian. But Professor Agasa was looking at her. Ai could feel the weight of his concerned gaze on her shoulders.

"If Ai-kun has made a decision, I will respect it," Professor Agasa said firmly. "I thank you for all your help. Hopefully, we will meet again in the future." …which was the professor's way of telling her he didn't really approve of her decision, even if he was going to uphold it. And why should he, when it was based off of purely selfish and cowardly reasons?

Running away. Always running away.

Tochi opened his mouth to protest, but the abbot held out a restraining hand. "If that is your decision," Abbot Fusano said, "then I also hope we will meet again. Tochi, lead them to the other visitors." Tochi frowned for a moment before nodding and standing up.

"This way please," he said abruptly, leading them through the door, down the hallway, and into another room.

Ai wanted to say something, knew what it was like to feel as if you were the only one only to find someone who could possibly understand you. She knew how much it hurt when you realized that they never would.

"Haibara," Kudo greeted, the first to notice their entrance. At his salutation, Ayumi, Tsuburaya, and Kojima spun around.

"Ai-chan!" Ayumi shouted, which was all the warning Ai had before she was surrounded by three, worried children demanding to know if she was alright.

"I'm fine, I'm fine" she reassured.

"Staying up late isn't worth collapsing," Kojima declared, and Ai stared at him for a moment before realizing that must be the cover story for her collapse.

"Ah, I think you're right," Ai murmured.

"If Ai-chan was tired, we shouldn't have gone to the temple," Ayumi worried. Ai offered the girl one of her rare, gentle smiles.

"It's not your fault, Ayumi-chan," Ai assured the other girl. "I didn't realize I was so tired, and I wanted to go to the temple with you. If anything, it was my fault for ruining the night." That, of course, only set off a round of denials and another round of queries about her health.

Eventually, Professor Agasa and Mouri were able to herd the children out of the temple and down to the subway station, where the three children subsided into a strained silence which soon consumed the whole group.

Ai, though upset that she had ruined her young friends' New Years, couldn't help taking advantage of it, choosing to look out the window at the darkness rushing past rather than face Kudo's suspicious gaze.

"Um, Haibara-kun?" Tsuburaya hesitantly stammered, breaking the silence as the subway came closer to Beika Station. Ai turned back to find the three children leaning forward, looking fairly serious. "Are you going to come to the Mouri's New Years party tonight?"

Ai opened her mouth to say yes, but hesitated, unsure if she really wanted to. The children had been anticipating the event for weeks, ever since they were invited by Mouri, and had even managed to convince the elder Mouri (with Mouri's help) to let them sleep over afterwards. Ai didn't want to disappoint them, but she wasn't sure if she was up to a party, a situation she found tedious even in the best of times.

Before Ai could decide, Mouri came to her rescue. "Why don't we wait and see?" she suggested kindly. "If Ai feels up it, she should come, but she shouldn't push herself after collapsing like that. Okay?" The three children instantly agreed, and Ai quirked her lips up in a tired smile of thanks.

Soon, the subway pulled into Beika Station, and Ai and Professor Agasa departed, waving good-bye to the others as they continued on to the stop closer to the Mouri Detective Agency.

Ai and Professor Agasa made their way home in silence. The streets on New Years morning were almost empty, bereft of the people at home celebrating with their families. Even though the sun had risen, the morning air was chilly. Ai breathed out, watching her breath condense and melt away in the pale light. At her side, Professor Agasa kept throwing her worried looks, but it wasn't until after they had gotten home and taken off their shoes that he finally spoke.

"Ai-kun," the professor began, and after all this time, Ai still found the strange mix of paternal love and worry in his voice disconcerting. "If you don't want to learn how to use your ability because you simply don't want to, that's fine. But if you refused for any other reason, you should think about it more."

"I already made my choice," Ai protested.

"Ai-kun, you are an adult. I won't try to change your mind," Professor Agasa assured her. "I'd just like it if you thought about _why_ you made your choice."

"It's what I want," Ai asserted firmly. The professor sighed slightly before smiling at her fondly.

"You should get some rest," he suggested. "The party isn't for a few hours; you can decide what you want to do after a nap."

"You could go without me," Ai offered.

"Ai-kun, whether I go to the party or I spend New Years with you, I will be equally happy. Now, I'll go work on those blue lenses. The tint still isn't matching up correctly with the chemicals." With one last smile, the professor headed down to the lab.

Lately, they had been working to create a tagging agent which could be smeared invisibly on a person or object and only seen when viewed through a special pair of lenses. It worked on the same principles as industrial invisible marker chemicals, though their compound would be harmless to the touch. Ai had been trying to create the chemical agent while Professor Agasa was constructing the pair of special glasses.

Ai wandered out of the living room, but instead of heading upstairs, she went to the kitchen. On the kitchen countertop, the New Years' mail had piled up. The small girl climbed up onto one of the high stools and set about organizing it.

It had been a novel experience sending out the New Years postcards. They had sent ones to Ayumi, Tsuburaya, Kojima, and the Mouris as well as to Officer Takagi, Detective Satou, and Inspector Megure. Professor Agasa had insisted on sending one each to Kudo Shinichi and Edogawa Conan for reasons Ai couldn't fathom, in addition to the Kudos in Hawaii and some of the professor's scientist colleagues.

And while it had been a new experience sending the postcards, it had been an even stranger experience receiving them. The Detective Boys had each given her and Professor Agasa cards as had the Mouris. Ai had received one from her second grade teacher, and Professor Agasa had received a few from the Kudos and his colleagues. Ai sorted all of them into neat piles.

It was a strange custom, the blonde girl thought. Sending and receiving the postcards served as a reminder of all the people you had a connection with. Ai supposed that was the whole point of the ritual: renewing old ties. After all, Professor Agasa had received a postcard from a colleague he hadn't talked to in decades, and now they were going to visit the scientist at his home in three days.

Shiho Miyano had been a shadow, a ghost, tied and beholden to no one but her sister. Ai Haibara knew it wasn't a good idea to form bonds with the people around her. The organization was always a specter looming just beyond the horizon, an invisible threat that could appear at any moment. And when it did, paper trails would be followed and ties would be severed--permanently. Ai knew the organization's policy for eliminating targets. She smirked self-deprecatingly. Yes, she knew that particular policy intimately.

Pushing aside her depressing thoughts and the finished piles, Ai attacked Kudo's mail, which Professor Agasa collected every week. There was one from Mouri, one from his parents, one from Heiji Hattori, and a sickeningly large pile from admirers. Ai neatly stacked the first three and then threw the rest of them away. Kudo's ego was large enough as it was.

Just as she was finishing, Ai was struck by a wave of fatigue. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on the cool countertop. She hadn't realized how draining her collapse the night before would be. Right before they left, Tochi had pulled her aside and issued one, last warning, saying that if she ever took off the bracelet, her reaction would be far worse, which, considering how draining this time was, Ai didn't even want to imagine.

_But you won't need to_, she reminded herself, _because you're never taking the bracelet off. You just need to sleep and then you can go back to normal, or at least pretending everything is normal._

Ai stood up and made her way back to the basement lab's door. She'd just tell Professor Agasa she was too tired, and then he could decide whether he wanted to go to the party or not. She opened the door, heavily leaning on the handle, and looked down. She couldn't see the professor--he was most likely behind the stairs at his favorite work bench--but she could hear him cheerfully humming New Years music off-key.

She opened her mouth and thought of all the postcards lying in the kitchen, all the connections and bonds they represented. Personal ties may have been a foreign concept to Ai, but she knew how precious they were. Professor Agasa spent so much of his time cooped up in the house or taking care of her and Kudo and the other children, Ai didn't want to deny him the chance to get together with the other adults.

"Professor," she called out, and the humming stopped. "Be sure to wake me up in four hours for the party." There was a pause.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and Ai could hear the hope in his voice. She smiled slightly.

"Yes," she assured him before closing the door and trudging up the stairs to her bed.

The kind of personal connections represented by the postcards truly were a foreign concept to Shiho Miyano. The closest she had ever come had been a sham.

Ai took off her kimono, folding it over a chair while making a mental note to iron it later. She pretended not to notice the way her hands shook.

_This won't be like last time_, Ai told herself, as she changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed. But, in her heart, she wondered.


End file.
